MONTH OF LOVE

February, the month of love, but much as I like the idea, I cannot benefit from it as I’m still a single pringle. I have had two relationships in the past, the one last was a mutual break up so I hold no grudges against that guy, but the first guy however… I’ll let this poem explain as I wrote it not too long after that break up:

Last Word

For so long chains had bound me,

The world only black and beige,

Where I could only wonder,

What lied beyond this cage?

 

But then my saving grace came,

I found the strength to fight,

I saw the freedom before me,

So I pulled with all my might.

 

The chains are broken,

Freedom calls me at last,

Colour floods my prison,

Burying it in the past.

 

No cages are in my life now,

No one to hold me back,

Sometimes you will try again,

But your control is too lack.

 

I will prove myself to the world,

That no one can hold me down,

Though you may think I cannot cope,

And without you I would drown.

 

Say what you want I don’t care,

I don’t need you anymore,

You’ve suppressed me for far too long,

From now on it’s my lore.

 

You’ve had your chance,

You blew it really bad,

And one day you will see,

I was the best you had.

 

For one day you’ll see,

I’ll will leave my mark on this earth,

Stronger and better without you,

You will see my every worth.

 

I refuse to act desperate, being desperate, in my eyes, is a sure-fire way to be taken advantage of and I think that’s why my first relationship was a flop. I was just so happy to finally be in a relationship that I failed to see any of the red flags that were so obvious such as demining comments on my looks, aggressive behavior when playing video games (I am not blaming the video games, I’m a gamer myself and I pretty calm when playing)and lack of ambition. There’s so much more but I only have 500 words to work with here.

At the time, I had nothing to compare it to, so I struggled with nearly seven years to make it work and in the end, it fizzled out and what was worse, he found a girlfriend less than a month later. It wasn’t so much that I missed him it was more like it made me feel worthless, nearly 7 years together and I was replaced in a month? It hurt but it taught me a lesson, that I could do so much better than him.

I will one day find my soulmate but good things come to those who wait… I just hope it happens before I turn 35.

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